As I approached the end of my professional career I worked with Julian, a human development coach on a once in a lifetime project (for me). 2 objectives – 1) what needs to be done to leave my responsibilities in the best possible shape – 2) get myself ready for retirement. During the course of these discussions I was introduced to the work of the poet David Whyte – specifically “The 3 Marriages”. In truth I cannot remember the detail but the broad notion has stayed with me from day one.
If you can balance the 3 major constituencies in your life – self, work and family/friends/community – giving each high quality attention, then there is a good chance that you can live a fulfilled life. Concentrating on one element for short periods of time is ok in exceptional circumstances – but life’s richness comes from a broad range of stimuli and experiences.
Now when you retire, these 3 constituencies get somewhat skewed, with one,work, being drastically diminished. In my deliberations, I realised that gardening could partially fill the void by increasing activities and moving them from the “self” to “work” segments. My professional life required discipline, provided structure and a high level of satisfaction. The design work undertaken,the projects completed, expanding the garden focus with crevices and woodland plantings and the benefit of additional physical effort have allowed my personal “3 marriages” to be rebalanced.
One of the pleasant surprises of the additional gardening focus has been the enrichment in the family/friends/community segment. Garden clubs,visits,casual chit chats, blogging – all enriching. The icing on the cake? Last week’s visit by the 3 rascals Cob,AL,and Rosy.
Given free reign they did what children do – explore! The early focus was on the birds especially the hummers and Cob’s favorite -American goldfinches – regular visitors to the feeders. Then lizards – the 2 girls fascinated by Cobs ability to catch,handle gently and then release – green,brown, grey, silver, small to not too small!
Insects,caterpillars,butterflies,shed snake skin, collecting pine cones in their wheelbarrow, all on the agenda. Climbing over the crevice garden – why? – because it is there! Picking tomatoes in the herb garden (but no chance of eating them!). And just running everywhere – through the water sprinkler,from one end of the lawn to the other. When it all got a little too much – snacks and drinks under the patio shade.
The greatest excitement was the discovery of a couple of humming bird hawk moths which Cob captured with his mothers phone.
Once the wildlife had been fully explored it was time to start the project – the first new sculpture in the garden. A pile of quartz had been collected – I laid out the backbone of half a dozen of the bigger rocks and then the kiddies filled the gaps.
Cob came up with the idea to adorn the quartz with pine cones – eagerly supported by AL and Rosy.
It took about an hour and a half to finish it off – no standing back and admiring the finished sculpture…….
……… can we go in and watch some TV and popcorn almost in unison!
AndAllen has been a year in the making – by no means finished – but the pleasure in its making was far exceeded by this one day. CP, the Girl on the Hudson,Mads and me just watching and enjoying the simple fun of three having a wonderful time.
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